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Tag Archives: pretenses

There are

People close, walking near

Breathing the same air

Yet, somehow, not really here

Then I have you, far away

In a distant place

Yet, tangible your presence

In this surrounding space

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Selective revelations

Make-believe

Only certain confidences

Passing through the sieve

 

Contradictions in

Your earnest voice, your shifty eyes

Give me a reason, to be blind

Give me a reason, to believe your lies

 

Would it change anything
If now if I said
I loved you
And this time, the words were true?
If this once
They didn’t echo
Of hollow emptiness
Would it make the pain any less?
Or is it too late
To go back
To make any amends
While you believe I merely pretend?
A safe distance, from afar
Hidden, ugly scars
 
A step closer, uncertain
A glimpse of what’s behind the curtain
 
An instant too late
Love, replaced by hate
 
The moment, irreversible
Every deceit, discernible
 
The dream tarnished
Against my wish
 
Another disappointment
To my mind lent
 
Deep within, a familiar stir
Maybe I am simply, looking in the mirror.

In the starlight dim, yet clear

The dust plays in front me

Patterns drawn, so near

Fading away quick, roaming free

Reminding me of you

And your haunting memory

Which eludes me too

Before I can grasp or see

 

A picture clear

Etched in my head

Or an illusion I’ve held on to in fear

Of a past long dead?

 

This is when

I need to be strong

Because I may face a lapse

And relapse

To who I used to be

Before things changed

I need to grow out of it

It may otherwise, tear me to bits

One last time

I need to hold on

To not let who I am

Crumble into shams

 

This new face

Is the only saving grace

I am an impostor

Wearing the cloak

Of affected emotions

To suit the situations

 

I am a cheat

Wrapping myself

In practised mannerisms

To escape cataclysms

 

I am a liar

Swathed in blankets

Of fabrications and deceit

Survival being the primary feat

 

Who to blame

For this facade

Consciously posed

Or falsely imposed?

Should I believe what I see

What do you want from me?

 

To go past

Your fake defences

Or to buy them

Ignoring the pretenses

Do you want me to

Read between the lines

Or simply  refuse to see

The perceptions that are mine

 

Cry in despair, or laugh with glee

What do you want from me?

 

To take what you say

At face value

Or to refute it

To get to the real you

Do you want me to

Discard your lies

Or act like all others

And break our ties

 

Tell me how to be

What do you want for me?

 

To ignore, overlook

Your feigned detachment

Or to convince you to

Convey your sentiments

To struggle and fight

To instill some sense

Or to leave you all alone

Behind that fence

 

I am losing ways to help you free

What do you want from me?

 

To pursue you

Chase you down

Or write you off

With a mild frown

Should I just

Let you go

Pretend ignorance

Of what I know

 

Cling on, or let you be

What do you want from me?

Trying to

Sugar coat facts

Passing it off

As essential tacts

 

Infinite hatred that

Doesn’t become any less

In front of the world

They diligently suppress

 

Social standing

Matters after all

Even if at every feet

They grovel and fall

 

Honest opinions

Don’t stand a chance

To popular belief

These puppets dance

 

Scoffing at

Genuine ways

Envious though

Of what candor says

 

In the absence of

A plastic idol

Without blind worship

Their lives would be dull

 

Pouring honey

In endless ways

Spitting venom

Behind my face

 

And you ask me to

Dampen my courage

When with indignation

I tremble in rage?

 

To adopt their

Stealthy ways

Living lies

For endless days

 

To stoop

Low enough

To succumb to deceit

When the going gets tough

 

To yield

What I believe in

To be a mute observer

Than raise my voice against sin

 

I rather be

A social outcast

Than be mould in

Their hollow cast

 

Someday I may learn

To do what they do

Question is should I

Become one of them too?

The deceit

The pretences

The crumbling of

Well built defences

 

Letting in

Despite better judgement

Consequently regretting

The hurtful infringement

 

Letting yourself dream

Giving a chance to fate

Aching with time

Withering with hate

 

Crying to sleep

Empty nights

Hard to tell

The wrong from right

 

The bitterness

The burning pain

The salty tears

Streaming down like rain

 

Buying lies

Succumbing to emotions

Losing grip on

Your logical notions

 

Believing in

Fleeting hallucinations

Trying to grasp those

Intangible fascinations

 

I’ll eventually

Grow out of them

Be left with the sin

Of being hollow within

 

 

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